Faith’s Letters to Her Mother: RUINS
RUINS
Audio
Dear Runaway Mother:
It wasn’t anywhere near as difficult as I thought it would be. The Private Investigator I hired tracked you down in less than a week. I thought you would have moved as far away as possible. Who would have thought you’ve been here – Manor Haven Crescent in Downsview, he told me – all these years and never tried to make contact?
I drove by your house today before I came here. After the upside down day I had it seemed like the thing to do. I slowed down hoping I might see you. Now that’s just flat out stupid. How would I know it’s you? I haven’t the foggiest what you look like.
Dad got rid of all your pictures shortly after you left although I’ve always suspected he kept a few hidden away. When I asked why you left he would just look away and say: It was hard for her. She loved you. That’s all you need to know. I learned to stop asking because I saw how much pain the ruins of your marriage caused him.
Runaway mother, you still left your mark on me. You see, I don’t have friends. I’ve had acquaintances – colleagues – lovers – enemies – admirers. But never a heart-to-heart friend. I never learned to form that kind of bond.
But is that bad by definition? So I’m purpose driven. I speak for the ones people don’t understand. If that’s what makes me happy, what’s wrong with that? The Peregrines fly in the face of convention and make it work. So why should I have to play by the rules? Where is it written that normal is a marriage, 2.5 kids and a house in the suburbs?
Here’s how I see it. I was born to be a trail blazer and to speak for the ones who don’t fit the cookie cutter. The Raves are my way of giving them a voice. So – no personal attachments to slow me down or hold me back. I travel light and roll with the punches.
Brave talk, runaway mother. But I still keep coming back to these ruins desperately trying to remember you. And now that I’m alone again there’s a bubble of fear in my chest that won’t go away. I’ve got a long way to go before I can fly free with the Peregrines. First I have to answer the million dollar question: Do I want to meet you?