UNTIL THE DEEP WATER STILLS

WINDOWS

Photographs are never as good as the real thing. Just an image frozen in time that makes you wonder what the real moment was like. Half a second at most in a lifetime where millions of images flutter by you like butterflies on the breeze.

 

But once in a blue moon something magical happens. You see something common – an everyday thing. Then the perspective shifts just a fraction or the light falls in just the right way. All the elements align like an eclipse and a moment of light opens up to you. You aim your camera through that window and pray you get it right.

 

 

It happened that way with the Red-winged Blackbird. They’re as common as the grains of sand that were sifting through my fingers this morning at Sunnyside. But that one moment of exuberance shone out for an instant and I was able to grab it.

 

I realized that light, sound and touch are all connected. We don’t have five senses. We have one sense with five windows into it. Once I stumbled onto the language it came naturally to me. I’m not angry anymore that Michael-John is deaf. I can’t forgive myself but I’ve found a way to make peace with it.

 

 

  

But there’s a dark lining to every silver cloud. Nicholas left me another message on my cell today. I’ve allowed myself to ignore his messages this summer. I decided that I was done with that experiment.

 

He said he missed our sessions – that they were helping him in his training as an actor. But I think he just wants to see me for the sake of seeing me. Have I become his Mrs. Robinson? Shame on me if I have. I’ll have to meet him and straighten things out.

 

I need to get that out of the way so I can concentrate on what I need to do. The last of my illusions about Jayce and I went up in smoke last night. The clock has been chiming midnight for awhile now. I can’t ignore it any longer.