Hmmm, are we born with a pocketful of free credits that we can use however we see fit? Can we multiply those entitlements by achieving fame, fortune or wealth?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion of “entitlement” lately because I see so many examples of its apparent existence. People who spend themselves into debt they can’t get out of believing they are entitled to a certain standard of life. Others who foolishly burn their bridges thinking that they’ll always have that bottomless well of wishes to dip into.
Tiger Woods went down that road. After completing rehab for his “sex addiction”, he was asked why he did the things he did. His answer: “I thought I was entitled.”. Woods thought his success and wealth entitled him to define his own moral parameters. His wife and many of his sponsors thought differently. It appears he has learned his lesson.
I’ll confess that I’ve fallen victim to that illusion. For many years I thought working hard, maintaining high standards and being loyal to my employer entitled me to job security and respect. Or at least the assurance of being treated with dignity if the worst happened.
But my employer back then didn’t see it that way when the economy hit the skids. “We’re making changes in the organization and as a result we have to ask you to resign.” Ask me to resign? Like I have a choice? And to receive the minimal severance package, I was expected to sign a document saying I wouldn’t work for a competitor for two years. Excuse me?
I thought I was entitled to a long and harmonious marriage if I kept my promise to love and honour. But I learned there is no guarantee. (And yes, my own personal baggage factored into the fracturing of the matrimonial equation.)
For many years I thought the good fortune of being born in a free and democratic country – and my faithfulness in obeying its laws – entitled me to security and peace of mind. 911 blew a gaping hole in that illusion.
Entitlement by definition is something owed. I’ve come to realize that there is no such thing in life. By the grace of God, fortune or chance (depending on your point of view), we each receive an allotment of privileges. A privilege is something you receive before you prove your worth. But we have to earn the right to keep the privilege. Therein lies the distinction that some of us fail to grasp.
If we need a metaphor for the kind of life that earns the right to keep its privileges, we can find it, ironically, in the same place that we found the metaphor for the fallacy of entitlement. The world of professional golf.
Phil Mickelson is one of the elite players in the game. His talent and dedication to his craft rivals Tiger’s. Mickelson is a gentleman on and off the course, respectful and appreciative of his fans and a dedicated family man. If anyone deserves success, he does.
But in the last year both Mickelson’s wife and mother have battled breast cancer. Mickelson took time off the tour to support them. Then last week came the 2010 Masters Tournament – the holy grail of the golf world. Mickelson rose to the occasion and won his third green jacket.
But the moment of truth came after he holed out his last putt. That lingering embrace with his wife with tears running down his face. It wasn’t about the fame or the money. The win was for her. He was earning the right to keep his privileges. Here’s a guy who has got it all figured out.
~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.
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Tags: entitlement · metaphor · Michael Robert Dyet · Phil Mickelson · privilege · the Masters · Tiger WoodsNo Comments