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Michael's Metaphors of Life Journal

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Brain Drain, Caffeine Injections and Big Bang Theory Reruns

August 25th, 2018 by Michael Dyet

brain_synapse_hero

Hmmm, how much longer can the gray-matter butterfly run on overdrive?

I do not know who came up with the term multitask, but I wish I could find him so I could kick him in the family jewels. In all fairness, it started out meaning performing two or more tasks simultaneously. But in the last decade, two or more has been multiplied several times for the average worker.

Do more with less is the mantra of the work world these days. Technology is supposed to be the enabler – empowering us to be more efficient and therefore capable of handling more tasks. What the experts conveniently overlook is that the law of diminishing returns applies. The human brain is not designed to play hopscotch between half a dozen or more projects.

My brain and I have regular debates over brain synapse overload starting around 2:00 in the afternoon.

Michael’s Brain: Task load exceeds optimal parameters. Need to shut down and recharge.

Michael: What?! You can’t shut down. We have 2 hours to go before quitting time.

Michael’s Brain: Acknowledged. Reallocating resources. Be advised that intellectual acuity may be negatively affected.

3:00 pm

Michael’s Brain: Entering red zone. Cognitive dissonance may occur.

Michael: Suck it up, big boy. Still got an hour to go.

Michael’s Brain: Accessing emergency reserves. Fuel boost needed. Request caffeine injection.

Michael: Way ahead of you. On my way to the kitchen.

4:00 pm

Michael’s Brain: Processing capability at less than 10%. Shutting down.

Michael: No, no, no! We still have to drive home.

Michael’s Brain: Engaging autopilot. Cannot guarantee accurate processing of sensory stimuli.

Michael: Stop whining! I gave you extra coffee and triple sugar!

5:00 pm. Arriving home.

Michael’s Brain: Running on empty. Request Big Bang Theory reruns and comfort food.

Michael: BBT reruns, yes. But no comfort food. Our digestive system can’t handle it anymore.

Michael’s Brain: Digestive system is a big, sucky, sissy.

Michael: That we can agree on. You’re officially off the clock.

Michael’s Brain: Shutting down. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Our brain can be thought of as a butterfly – constantly cross-pollinating flowers of thought and opening up new vistas. But the degree to which we are now expected to multitask, and the brain drain that results, is aging the butterfly before its time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to watch a Big Bang Theory rerun, if my sleepy brain can muster enough processing power to remember how to use the remote.

Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

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