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A Tangled Web with No Paper Trail

November 3rd, 2018 by Michael Dyet

Tangled Web

Hmmm, in the words of Sir Walter Scott, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Methinks this applies to the e-mail I received today.

Subject: Business Proposal

 Date: 2.11.2018

I have a confidential business proposal for you which is worth a substantial amount (GBP 13.5M). If interested, reply back via the below e-mail for more details.

 Best regards,

 Sir David Edward John R., Deputy Governor, Markets and Banking,

Bank of England, Tel: 075 4328 2201

Re: Business Proposal

Dear Sir David:

Thank you so much for your business proposal! This must be my lucky day. I can’t imagine how you came to make this offer to me. But I am certainly not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

GBP 13.5M. I believe that converts to $22,900 – quite a windfall! I see a new car in my future. But wait, what if the “M” stands for “million”? 13,500,000 GBP! I can’t begin to imagine what that equates to in Canadian dollars. But who cares! I’d be filthy, stinking rich!

You indicated that this is a confidential business proposal. That puzzles me a bit. Is this something illegal? I wouldn’t want to have the RCMP knocking on my door.

But you are with the Bank of England. I checked Google and that’s a real thing. You have a website that uses cookies, so it has to be official. Surely you can’t go wrong when you’re dealing with an institution that has been around since 1694.

However, it occurs to me to wonder why the Deputy Governor, Markets and Banking would be spending his valuable time on a transaction with someone like me. Surely you have more important things to do with your time?

And I kind of wonder why you’re contacting me by e-mail. Is that normal for a serious business proposal? I would think you would send me a letter by registered mail.

Umm, maybe you don’t want a paper trail. I have to tell you that that is worrisome. You did give your telephone number. But it wouldn’t be that difficult to set up a dummy phone number and answer it in an official manner.

Tell you what. Send me $1,500 to cover the cost of a return flight to London. Throw in another $1,500 for accommodations and $1,000 for miscellaneous expenses. You can deduct this $4,500 from the GBP13.5M. I’ll make the trip over to meet you and we’ll get this deal done!

Best regards,

Michael Robert Dyet

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~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

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