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My Fearless Predictions for an Unpredictable Year Ahead

December 29th, 2018 by Michael Dyet

Crystal ball

Hmmm, can I presume to predict what 2019 may hold in store for us?

It is that time of year when prognosticators pull out their crystal balls and predict what will happen in the year to come. The top 12 tech innovations, the top 20 news stories, the top 32 fashion trends. Apparently the old, reliable top 10 is not enough anymore.

Personally, I found modern life so confounding it is difficult to predict what the world will look like when I wake up tomorrow. Nevertheless, here are my fearless top, 10 predictions for 2019 in no particular order.

Donald Trump may or may not get funding for his border wall, may or may not be around long enough to build it if he does get funding and may or may not be impeached. Regardless, he will continue to exist in a make believe word of his own conjuring. Melania will continue to squint as if she cannot figure out who stole her contact lenses.

Car manufacturers will continue to race to be the first to put a first self-driving car on the road. Legislators will continue to lose sleep trying to figure out how to regulate these two ton rolling computers. Squirrels will become even more jittery about crossing the road.

The number of television channels on traditional and online networks will continue to grow exponentially. I will continue to channel surf, muttering under my breath at the predominance of reality TV shows, and end up watching reruns of CSI with Gil Grissom and his bugs.

Leafs GM Kyle Dubas will continue to insist he can sign all his big name players to new contracts within the salary cap. Reasonably intelligent people will wonder what kind of new math he is using. William Nylander will earn more per goal than most of us earn in a year.

Digital technology will continue to evolve at the speed of light. Software engineers will continue to be the most in-demand profession. But tech support will continue to ask “Did you try turning your computer off and on again?” when we call them for help.

Politicians will continue to make promises they do not intend to keep and will continue to blame the previous government. Voters will elect the person who is best at making bold-faced lies. Liquor sales will mysteriously spike during elections.

We’ll have a heat wave in February, an ice storm in June and a blizzard in September. Weather forecasters will continue to pretend they can make reliable seven day forecasts.

Facebook will change their algorithms again and no one will be happy about it.

Twitter will expand their character limit to 399 characters. Users will continue to tweet what they ate for dinner.

YouTube will get hacked and brought down. We will have to select all squares with four-tailed, purple baboons in order to log on.

As for me, I will keep spinning metaphors. It is the best way I know to retain my sanity in a world where unpredictability is the only thing we can rely on.

Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

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