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Six Off-the-Wall Ways to Avoid Lockdown Meltdown

November 28th, 2020 by Michael Dyet

Hmmm, are you fit to be tied with the lockdown?

This second lockdown of 2020 is making it difficult to keep ourselves occupied. As a service to all my readers, I offer six activities to help you endure the long days without going stir crazy.

FEDEX DELIVERY BINGO

Create homemade bingo cards with your neighbour’s addresses. Use Pot of Gold chocolates as markers and mark your card every time a FedEx delivery is made to a neighbour’s residence. Score a bonus marker if the FedEx guy slips and falls on his ass as she sprints back to his truck. And, of course, you get to eat the chocolates if you win.

LAST LEAF LOTTERY

No, I am not talking about the Toronto Maple Leafs and the odds that they will bow out in the first round of the playoffs again when hockey returns. Create a lottery around the last orphan leaf hanging on to the Maple tree in your yard and when it will finally let go. Winner gets to wash down the last slice of day old pizza with a mug of Vodka.

DRIVEWAY ICE CAPADES

Sneak out at midnight on one of these below freezing nights and flood your neighbour’s driveway. Pull a chair up to the window in the morning with your coffee. Have a belly laugh as the first person out of the house does impromptu pirouettes, backflips and face plants. Be sure to duck out of sight if the irate victim looks your way.

BINGE TV WATCHING

A tried and true method to effectively kill time. Cue up classic movie franchises like The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and Harry Potter for a pandemic marathon of the battle of good versus evil. But brain-rotting Reality TV is off limits. And absolutely nothing with Ken Jeong! Is there a more annoying man on the face of the planet?

COMFORT FOOD ORGY

Face it: We’ve all lost the battle already. Our pre-COVID pants will not even squeeze over our hips now. So stock up on potato chips, chocolate, licorice and M&Ms. Make sure the bowl is never empty. Coat the contents with Maple Syrup for an extra sugar high.

RANDOM ACTS OF SNOW SCULPTURE

When your neighbour is out, make snow sculptures on his lawn in sexually suggestive shapes. When your neighbour arrives home, blame it on the other neighbour who never returned the ladder he borrowed two years ago. A two-for-one score that never gets old.

We are in this metaphorical prison together. If we all play by the same devious rules, we will get paroled at the same time and on the same terms when the sun rises on the other side of the lockdown. Who’s in?

~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me Go Hmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2. Instructions for subscribing are provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week

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