Hmmm, who decided it would be a swipe rather instead of a tap?
In order for you to make sense of this post, I need to issue three disclaimers:
I am 63 years old. Computers and digital technology came along after my brain went through the formative, programming years. Tech language and concepts are a foreign language to me.
Some people have an aptitude for technology. I most decidedly do not. Not at all. Zero, nada, squat. The simplest concepts and practices make no logical sense to me whatsoever.
Tech devices and I do not get along. You know how dogs can tell instinctively whether or not you are a dog person? The same applies to tech devices. They sense I am an enemy and randomly malfunction in deliberate fashion.
I am now the recipient of a corporate cell phone. No, I did not get promoted. My employer has decided to adopt a hybrid work from home / at the office model. Accordingly, they have decided to equip all of us with corporate cell phones.
You think this is a good thing for me? Did you not read the disclaimers above?
I now have to keep track of two cell phones, remember two cell phone numbers and two sets of passwords (An unlock code? Oh, for f****’s sake!), keep track of two separate charging cords, remember to recharge two separate phones and carry two phones with me on work days. This is a lot of stress to put me through when I have less than two years to go to retirement.
Learning to use my Samsung phone has been predictably tempestuous. My employer provided a Quick Start Guide. But it is 13 pages long. Does that qualify as quick? I am pretty sure that anything over 5 pages falls into a different category.
I had to change the unlock code from the default set by our IT Department. I did so. But the phone, taking an instant dislike to me, refused to accept the new code the first time I used it. Oh, for f****’s sake! IT had to reset the default code so I could go through the process again.
The first call came in this morning. I tapped the answer button. Nothing. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Still nothing. Back to the IT help desk. I have to swipe to answer? Oh, for f****’s sake! I have been tapping for years and now I have to swipe? You have to tell me these things!
I have no doubt that there is a photo of me on the wall of our IT Department. When I send in a help request, the reaction invariably must be: Oh shit, it’s Dyet again. Who drew the short straw today? Joe, you’re up. Here, down this beer before you talk to him.
Getting acquainted and comfortable with my new Samsung phone is the equivalent of landing on the moon. None of the normal laws or logic apply anymore. Swiping is the new tapping and that is just the part of the iceberg that is above water.
Icebergs on the moon? That’s a perfect metaphor. You don’t understand? Oh, for f****’s sake! Now you know how I feel.
~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
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Tags: iceberg · metaphor · Michael Robert Dyet · moon · Samsung phone · swipe · unlock codeNo Comments