Michael's Metaphors of Life Journal header image 2

Beware the Byte of the Data Fairy

November 6th, 2021 by Michael Dyet

Hmmm, will this trial be coming soon to courtroom near you?

PROSECUTOR: Mr. Dyet, your testimony is that you entered all the data into the online form and saved it. But when you returned to the form later, it was empty.

MICHAEL: Yes, that is correct.

PROSECUTOR: Do you know if you accidentally pressed “Submit” rather than “Save”?

MICHAEL: Let’s examine that question. Accidentally implies I did it without realizing it. So even if I did, how could I know I did?

PROSECUTOR: Just answer the question.

MICHAEL: I don’t know.

PROSECUTOR: The question requires a yes or no answer.

MICHAEL: Okay. Yes, I don’t know.

PROSECUTOR: You’re evading the question.

MICHAEL: Your fault. It’s an evasive question.

PROSECUTOR: Let’s circle back to that one. You also testified that you entered the data in the form, your manager looked at the form and found it empty, you looked and found it empty but then checked back later and the data had returned. Is that correct?

MICHAEL: Yes, that’s exactly what happened.

PROSECUTOR: Come now, Michael. Do you really expect the court to believe that?

MICHAEL: If the court has ever used a computer, it shouldn’t be hard to believe.

PROSECUTOR: How could the data be there, and then not be there, and then be there again?

MICHAEL: If a tree falls in the forest, and there is nobody there to hear it, does it make a sound?

PROSECUTOR: I fail to see the relevance of your question.

MICHAEL: I fail to see the point of you failing to see the relevance.

PROSECUTOR: Your honour, permission to treat Mr. Dyet as a hostile witness.

JUDGE: So ordered.

PROSECUTOR: I ask again. How could the data be there, and then not be there, and then be there again?

MICHAEL: You’d be better off asking Bill Gates that question.

PROSECUTOR: Answer the question!

MICHAEL: Okay, an evil data fairy removed the data and then put it back.

PROSECUTOR: You’re testing my patience!

MICHAEL: Now you know how I feel.

PROSECUTOR: Your honour, the witness is refusing to cooperate.

JUDGE: Mr. Dyet, you are out of order!

MICHAEL: You’re out of order! And you’re out order! This whole trial is out of order!

JUDGE: Mr. Dyet, I am dangerously close to finding you in contempt!

MICHAEL: You didn’t get that? It was my Al Pacino impersonation.

PROSECUTOR: If necessary, I will seize your computer and have it analyzed.

MICHAEL: Good luck with that. Let me know if the data fairy returns my data.

Beware The Data Fairy. She lives in The Cloud, spreads pixel dust on our laptops and takes a byte out of our data. Virus and malware software cannot catch her. She travels invisibly via Wi-Fi and eludes all the nets set for her. She may be waiting around the digital corner of your laptop.

Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me Go Hmmm at its’ internet home Instructions for subscribing are provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Tags:   · · · · · · No Comments