Hmmm, could I get a patent on it and make myself filthy rich?
We are rounding the corner to Blue Monday which is allegedly the most depressing day of the year. It falls on the third Monday of January which is sneaking up on us.
There is some pseudoscience between the concept. A psychologist, whom I will not flatter by mentioning, came up with a formula that considers a number of factors including January weather, debt levels after Christmas, broken New Year’s Resolutions and generally lower motivation levels. It is a reasonable, if not scientifically valid, idea.
Blue Monday has more validity than usual this year. We are closing in on two years of living within the COVID-19 pandemic and the myriad of restrictions that have our progressively shrunk the parameters of our lives to a maddeningly small circle.
It must be acknowledged that there are certain segments of the population which are exempt this year because of the pandemic, namely:
- Big Pharma corps who have approved COVID-19 Vaccines
- Manufacturers of Rapid Antigen Test Kits
- Manufacturers of N95 Face Masks
These industries are making money hand over fist reeling in billions of dollars in sales. Their executives are no doubt punch drunk with delight and collecting hefty bonuses that will set them up for early retirement with everything money can buy.
I will admit that I am feeling the January blahs these days. I do not like winter to begin with. The pandemic madness in which we are drowning only makes it worse. But I have come up with a method to defeat the Blue Monday Blues. Give me the right to enthusiastically and unapologetically kick in the nether regions any bureaucrat that tries to tell me that:
I need a fourth vaccine booster to fortify the inner force field I supposedly now have. Three jabs are my limit and my line in the sand. Cross it at your peril.
The face mask that has gotten me through this far is insufficient and needs to be replaced by a N95 mask. I hate the one I have with a passion. Upgrading is not going to happen.
The vaccine certificate needs to become a permanent fixture for the safety of all. I intend to light the thing on fire and dance on its ashes at the earliest possible opportunity.
I should consider adding the soon-to-be approved vaccine pill to my arsenal of defences against COVID. Come near me with that little bugger and I will slap you silly.
There is a new COVID variant on the horizon that will shut down the spring and summer of 2022. I will take a running start to unleash an epic kick to said nether regions for that person
So let us adopt Kick to the Nether Regions as the metaphorical cure for the Blue Monday Blues and for the pandemic madness. Now if I can just patent the idea I could make a fortune.
~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
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Tags: Blue Monday · COVID-19 · metaphor · Michael Robert Dyet · nether regions · pandemicNo Comments