Hmmm, can you clear up a few things for me?
There are a few things happening lately that I find confusing. Actually, if I am being honest, there are a whole lot of things going on in the world today that bewilder me. The number of things that do not make sense far outweigh the ones that do. Here are just a few examples.
How is it that NHL players, making a million, five million or even 10 million dollars a year, shoot wide as often as they hit the target? It is a 6 foot x 4 foot target, for God’s sake! It has to be more difficult to miss it than to hit it. They should have $1,000 deducted from their mega salaries for each shot that goes wide.
Why does the price of gas bounce up and down like Mexican jumping beans? I sort of (not really) understand fluctuations based on supply chain issues. But that does not explain a price graph that resembles the EKG of a man repeatedly hit by lightning bolts. I am inclined to believe it is a daily throw at dart at the dartboard exercise in terms of setting the price.
Why do politicians spend their time in the legislature behaving like 10 year olds with ADHD who had their Hallowe’en candy stolen by the other party? Surely our elected officials are capable of better behaviour.
I suggest we put in place a system where MPs and MPPs are required to react responsibly and respectfully for three days a week. The other two days they can fight, squabble and pontificate to their heart’s content. That seems more than reasonable to me.
Why do Call Centres keeping dialing my number over and over and over again when I never answer if it is a phone number I do not recognize. Do they honestly think they will wear me down and convince me to have my ducts cleaned? I would have to remove the dead bodies I am hiding there. Where else could I put them?
Why do people run red lights and risk killing themselves, me and the people riding with us? Is it that critical for you to get where you are going ten minutes earlier? You may have a death wish or enjoy dancing with death on a daily basis. I happen to have a healthy respect for my life. Red means STOP for a reason. Use the brakes – that’s why you have them.
Why does the 6:00 news repeat the same story three days in a row and half a dozen times in three weeks? Interviewing a different person each time does not make it a new story. Stop flogging the dead horse. There is no shortage of news to report on.
Why are there hundreds of television channels when the same programs play on five separate channels? Am I supposed to spin the roulette wheel and pick which channel to watch? Do I get a prize if I pick the right one? A new car or an all expenses paid vacation down south would be nice.
So much of what goes on in the world today does not make sense to me. Am I the only sane person left? Or does it all make sense to everyone else and I am the oddball? It would not be the first time I found myself in that position.
If I am the guy on the outside looking in – the fish out of water, I guess I am doomed to be confused, bemused and not amused. I may have to up my alcohol intake to cope.
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~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.
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