Hmmm, how many ways are there to embroider the truth in the world of politics?
I must start this post by declaring that I have to keep my source confidential. The individual who provided me with a copy of the Politician’s Super-Secret Tactical Handbook – let’s call him/her Deep Goat – did so at great personal risk. I had to promise the memorize the document and then destroy it to leave no paper trail.
Here are just a few of the tactics outlined in this never-before-seen, 800 page document.
How to Make Promises You Never Intend to Keep
Proclaim the promise with great enthusiasm and mock sincerity. Speak in broad terms and avoid specifics. Talk at length about the intent and how this action is long overdue. Do not talk about actual logistics. Furrow your brow and wave your hands a lot for maximum effect.
Remember that these promises do not need to be original. In fact, it is better if they are recycled as this makes it easier to deny that it was your promise when you break it.
How to Justify Breaking Promises You Never Intended to Keep
Choose the most expedient of the big three excuses:
#1: The mess left behind by the previous government was much worse than expected. You have to mothball your promise to focus on cleaning up their egregious mistakes and poor planning.
#2: You made the promise in absolute good faith. Unfortunately, the situation has changed in ways you could not have predicted a year ago when you made the promise.
#3: You were egregiously misquoted. The issue is something you promised to look into which you are in the process of doing and have engaged a consultancy for the purpose.
How to Make the Announcement of a Major Financial Handout
Make the announcement on-site at a business that stands to directly benefit from the handout. Arrange for 6 to 10 individuals in work gear to be standing behind you as you speak. These individuals need to be coached in looking proud but slightly uncomfortable.
Proudly proclaim the outrageous subsidy your government is providing is a carefully considered investment that will ensure the province / country will be the epicenter of the industry worldwide for decades to come. End with the obligatory, best buddies handshake with the CEO of the company receiving the handout whose other hand is deep in the public pocket.
The wealth of the tactics outlined in the Politician’s Super-Secret Tactical Handbook are methods for embroidering the truth with false, misleading or open-ended details. It is a fine art developed over centuries.
Stay tuned for more excerpts from the Playbook including How to Answer a Question Without Actually Answering the Question.
~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
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