Hmmm, will you jump on the bandwagon whatever it represents in the moment?
I have become completely disenchanted with the main political parties in Canada, what they purport to represent and how they conduct themselves. The legislative assemblies shift on a regular basis between trench warfare and the sandbox squabbles of spoiled five-year olds.
Therefore, after much soul-searching and self-reflection, I have made the momentous decision to form a new and never before envisioned political party. It will be called the Liberally Conservative Democratic Green Party of Canada (LCDGP).
You will want to know where my party stands in the political spectrum: far right, right, left or far left. The answer is all of the above and none of the above simultaneously. The LCDGP will float across the political spectrum from day to day depending on how I feel and how pissed off I am at one more of the mainstream parties on that particular day.
You will also want to know whether the LDCGP is a ‘big tent party’ (covering a broad spectrum of beliefs) or an ideologically specific party. The answer is all of the above and none of the above simultaneously. By its very nature the LDCPG will resist definition. It will champion different issues on different days depending on how annoyed I am at the various special interest groups that are or are not active.
You will want to know where the LDCGP stands on the big issues that affect everyone. Our platform is by random design both broad and narrow:
Opposed to personal tax increases in favour of tax increases for big corporations and vice versa as the situation and the flavour of the day dictates.
Favouring individual freedoms for present and future generations and vice versa except in situations where the alternative makes more sense or is politically expedient.
Favouring social democracy and democratic socialism and radically pro-environment except and unless there is a compelling reason to lean in the other direction.
Reducing the budget deficit will be a key and non-negotiable priority except in the short term and in long term situations where it makes sense to act otherwise.
I have thought long and hard about my party’s slogan and arrived with certainty at the following: Whatever and Whenever If Ever. The party official colour will be an earthtone muddy brown in keeping with our top-down, grassroots approach.
The Liberally Conservative Democratic Green Party of Canada will be, with apologies as necessary, an unapologetic bandwagon party that prides itself on being definitively difficult if not impossible to define. All party members will be narrowly open-minded or openly narrow-minded as, when and if appropriate.
Can I count on you to jump on the bandwagon in the next provincial and/or federal election?
~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel (now out of print) which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
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Tags: Conservative Party · Green Party · Liberal Party · metaphor · Michael Robert Dyet · New Democratic PartyNo Comments