Hmmm, oh to be a fly on the wall listening in on the conversation.
Astronauts Barry “Butch” Wilmore and Suni Williams launched from Cape Canaveral Space Station on June 5 for what was supposed to be an eight day mission. The purpose of the mission: Evaluate the capabilities of the Boeing Starliner spacecraft before NASA certified it for regular International Space Station (ISS) astronaut rotation missions.
It is safe to say that Starliner failed the test. Three months later the two astronauts are still residing in the ISS after Starliner suffered multiple helium leaks and reaction control system thruster failures. NASA has opted to return Starliner to Earth empty. Wilmore and Williams now have to wait until February 2025 for a ride home on SpaceX’s four-seat Dragon Freedom.
I could not resist imagining being a fly on the wall and overhearing the conversations that have taken place between the astronauts and NASA. I think they might have been along these lines.
PRIOR TO LIFT-OFF
Butch Wilmore: NASA, that helium leak that was detected in testing will not be a problem, right?
NASA: Affirmative, we are confident Starliner is mission-worthy.
Butch Wilmore: You bloody well better be right about that!
AFTER LIFT-OFF
Suni Williams: NASA, we are reading helium leaks. Can you confirm?
NASA: Affirmative. We are also reading reaction control system thruster failures.
Suni Williams: Well that’s not good! Should we ditch?
NASA: Negative, we believe Starliner remains mission-worthy.
Suni Williams: Yeah, you said that before. FYI: Your credibility is becoming suspect.
AT DOCKING ATTEMPT
Butch Wilmore: NASA, we are reading additional thruster system problems. Can you confirm?
NASA: Umm… Affirmative. We are reading five thruster failures.
Butch Wilmore: Five failures! Well, shit! You said that was not going to be an issue!
NASA: We’re working the problem. You will need to switch to manual control for now.
Butch Wilmore: Really? Work faster! Switching to manual control.
AFTER SUCCESSFUL DOCKING
NASA: We will need to conduct some tests and gather data regarding Starliner’s performance. We may need to extend your mission.
Suni Williams: Exactly how long are we talking?
NASA: Ummm… That is unclear at this time.
Suni Williams: Not the answer we were looking for!
NASA: Sorry about that. Don’t worry, we’ve got our best engineers working the problem.
AUGUST 24
NASA: We have determined there is too much uncertainty regarding how the thrusters will behave. You will not be able to use Starliner for the return trip.
Butch Wilmore: Well, f___! What does that mean?
NASA: Your mission is being extended to… February 2025.
Butch Wilmore: Are you shitting me? This was supposed to be an eight day mission. Now it is going to be eight months? How the hell are you going to get us home?
NASA: We have arranged for you to return on the… SpaceX Dragon Freedom.
Suni Williams: SpaceX? The company owned by that nut-bag Elon Musk? You can’t be serious!
NASA: We realize this is not ideal.
Suni Williams: Ya think! Somebody is going to get a shit-kicking if we do get home in one piece!
NASA: We appreciate your patience.
Butch Wilmore: Well, we don’t have much damn choice in the matter, do we? We’d better be getting a bloody big bonus for all the time we had to stay up here.
NASA: Ummm… We’ll look into that… NASA out.
The fly on the wall is anticipating future animated discussions. Meanwhile, Elon Musk’s already inflated ego just doubled in size.
~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel (now out of print) which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me Go Hmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2. Instructions for subscribing are provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week
Tags: Barru Wilmore · Boeing Starliner · Elon Musk · International Space Station · metaphor · Michae Robert Dyet · NASA · SpaceX · Suni WilliamsNo Comments