Is our world really surging onward in every shortening cycles of renewal? Or is there an evil mastermind behind it all dreaming up senseless change after change to keep us all dancing to his fiddle tune?

The software industry – Microsoft in particular – are the overlords of this change conspiracy. They employ armies of people most of whom are foot soldiers in the perpetual change machine.

The association I work for recently upgraded to a newer version of Microsoft Office which has a host of sparking, new features. There is just one problem. Average Joe Users like me only use a small percentage of the program’s functionality. We don’t need and don’t want all these snazzy, new features. As far as we’re concerned, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Okay, you say, so just go on using the features you’ve used before. Ah, but there is the problem. The new version of Excel, for example, doesn’t have just a few new bells and whistles. The entire interface has been changed! Nothing is where it used to be. I have to relearn the entire program just to do the same old things. This is the change conspiracy at work!

Evidence of the change conspiracy is everywhere. The grocery store chain I shop at recently re-branded itself. Apparently that made it necessary to completely reconfigure the store. I used to know where everything was. Now I have to go search for all those items.

Where’s the benefit to me? It’s the same stuff but it seems putting it in a different place is supposed to make me want it more. Reality check time, retail gurus. All you’ve accomplished is to piss me off.

The packaged goods industry has its own spin on the change conspiracy. It spits out an endless stream of silly variations on established products.

The hair shampoo I buy now has versions for normal hair (medium and fresh), oily or fine hair (fine or thick ‘n full), dry hair, dandruff prone hair (dandruff control and dandruff dismissed – what the hell is the difference?), colour treated hair and 4 versions of the “For Men” formula. It gives me a headache trying to find the regular version. I used to be able to grab it without breaking my stride.

I dub this change conspiracy the Microsoft Effect. Remember, you heard it here first!

The Microsoft Effect is the re-branded metaphor of the Butterfly Effect. Microsoft reinvents a software program. This starts a ripple which spreads insidiously across the planet. Six months later a guy in Tokyo is scratching his head wondering why his breakfast cereal is suddenly on the other side of the store.

Yes, my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek. But my change conspiracy theory has a grain of truth in it. Change is a part of life. I accept that. But we’ve allowed the change conspirators to infiltrate our everyday life and bombard us with purposeless change. I for one am tired of dancing to their tune.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel”. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2. Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar.

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That very question was posed by a bride and groom to the guests at a wedding I attended recently. It was a touching gesture that made us all feel a part of the new life they were beginning.

But I must admit that the question stumped me – and not just because I have a divorce on my relationship resume. I honestly didn’t know what I could offer beyond trite truisms which seemed woefully insufficient.

Don’t misunderstand me. I believe in the institution of marriage and the sacred union of two lives. I hope to tie the knot again somewhere down the line.

But, as much as we’d all like to believe that love conquers all, the statistics suggest otherwise. A couple of quick stats culled from Divorcemagazine.com. There were 70,828 divorces in Canada in 2003. More than one-third of marriages in Canada will end in divorce before the thirtieth anniversary.

I think that the reason that I circle that question with such trepidation is the uncertain times in which we live. We’ve just experienced the worst recession since the Great Depression. Depending on who you believe, we may or may not be on the upside of the cycle. The key word here is “cycle”. The reality is that we live on an economic rollercoaster.

For many years I sought to acquire the simple comfort of predictability. It seemed a reasonable enough aspiration when I was a younger man. But I’ve come to understand that in our times it is a fool’s gold.

Why do I think this way? In our society it seems the only constant is change. Technology evolves at ever shorter intervals. Cutting edge today may be obsolete in a few months. It doesn’t matter anymore whether we actually need Version 6.0 of that software program. Chances are version 6.0 was already in the R&D phase when 5.0 was released.

Technology is a relentless master that will pass us by, back up and run us over, and charge ahead again if we don’t at least try to keep up. I believe there is a direct relationship between the perpetual 100 hundred yard sprint of technology and our attention span. Every time technology crosses another threshold our attention span shrinks a size. We’re becoming change addicts.

Small wonder that some of us trade in our lovers and soul mates with ever increasing frequency. We are programmed to jump ship at the first sign of adversity believing subconsciously that there is a new and improved partner just around the next bend in the road.

The relentless march of technology is a bit like acid rain on our relationships. We don’t feel it but it is falling on us every day eroding our commitments and loyalty. It is literally raining on our relationship parade.

So is the situation hopeless? Are we preprogrammed to switch mates as often as we switch jobs? No, it doesn’t have to be that way. Love is still, and always will be, the life force that allows us to rise above and beyond. Above the influence of technology. Beyond the reach of unrelenting change.

What we need to do is put love back on its pedestal. There is no stronger force in the universe. But (here comes the metaphor) it is a bit like glass. It is incredibly resilient and difficult to break. But when we stop believing in it and it does break – it shatters beyond all repair.

So upon reflection I think I do have some advice to offer to newlyweds. Keep your love separate from all else and let it know no bounds. Plunge headlong into it and let it soar like an eagle (with apologies to Thomas Hardy) far above the madding crowd.

Love passionately, abundantly and impossibly – and hang on for the ride.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel”. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2. Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar.

~ If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings every 5 to 7 days. Categories: Shifting Winds, Sudden Light, Deep Dive, Songs of Nature, Random Acts of Metaphor. Or subscribe to my Twitter page (mdyetmetaphor) to receive a tweet when a blog posting goes up.