Hmmm, shouldn’t there be a reward for growing old?
Some days, yes there is. Other days, not so much. Let me prepare you for the experience by spelling out the top 10 reasons that somedays it just plain sucks!
#10: Your brain insists on believing you are still 25. But your 60 old bladder begs to differ halfway through every meeting at work and in the middle of the night.
#9: You’re now entitled to the $5 senior’s credit on your monthly banking fees. But the price of gas just went up again, so kiss your 5 bucks goodbye.
#8: You’ve earned the right to slow down and smell the roses. But the world move so fast the best you can manage is to slow down the rate at which you’re falling behind.
#7: You’ve reached the age at which you are willing to pay to have things done for you. But technology double-crossed you and converted the world to self-serve.
#6: The roulette wheel spins every morning to determine which body parts will hurt (other than your back, which is a given) or decline to wake up.
#5: Your idea of the perfect evening is binge watching old sitcom reruns. But they’ve all been replaced by So You Think You Can Dance or Big Brother or Hell’s Kitchen or Kid’s Baking Championship or some other reality show you can no interest in whatsoever.
#4: You’re not overly concerned about how your body looks, so you can indulge in comfort foods… except that your body can no longer process dairy or gluten and everything that tastes good has one or the other in it.
#3: You’ve reached the age where you can laugh at yourself, but there are way too many things to laugh about.
#2: You’ve lived long enough to maybe see the Maple Leafs will the Stanley Cup again. But if the final game goes into double overtime, you’ll be asleep on the couch when it happens.
And finally…
#1: Along the way, you figured out the 3 most important things in life. But now you can’t for the life of you remember what they are.
Life has its seasons and aging falls into the autumn category. Thankfully, it is a long, slow season that has its pleasures as well as its challenges. I just wish the leaves were not falling off the tree at quite such an alarming rate.
~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.
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Tags: aging · autumn of life · growing old · metaphor · Michael Robert DyetNo Comments