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My New Year’s Anti-Resolutions

December 30th, 2023 by Michael Dyet

Hmmm, will your glass be half full, half empty or always full in 2024?

I have never really taken to the idea of New Year’s Resolutions. I understand the general concept. The start of a New Year is an appropriate time to take stock and set goals for the year ahead. But too often the goals we set are influenced by how others perceive us and fall by the wayside by January 31.

So this year I am making New Year’s Anti-resolutions as I am confident they will be easier to keep and ultimately better for me. Hence, I resolve not to:

Gesture angrily with one raised finger at rude and aggressive drivers on the road. Instead, I will give them a wide berth and leave them to their discontented lives. I may even smile at them as they glare at me so it is their blood pressure that is raised rather than mine.

Watch more than the first 15 minutes of the evening news. The last 45 minutes are mostly a rehash of the stories from earlier in the week. I do not care to know what four different experts think about the happenings. I am quite capable of drawing my own intelligent conclusions.

Try to make some semblance of sense of Donald Trump and his tirades. He is a walking, talking, scowling bundle of bile, nonsense and overinflated ego. Left alone he will flame out spectacularly and fade into obscurity where he belongs.

Feel compelled to fumble my way, using my full repertoire of four letter words, through the latest and greatest digital technology. I am retired and therefore under no obligation to adopt each new generation of tech. Everything I need to do I already know how to do. I am done with this never-ending learning curve and happy to kiss it goodbye.

Be upset because someone neglected to stoop and scoop after their dog did his business. The steaming pile of s*** is a reflection of who they are and not worth a second thought to me. One day karma will kick in and they will step into that pile of s***, slip and fall on their ass.

Groan and shake my head at each new highwater mark achieved in the salaries of professional athletes. The correlation between what they achieve and what they earn passed any semblance of reason long ago. They can count the zeros in their paycheck if they wish. I have better things to do with my time.

Wait until the other person coming down the trail passes out of sight before I kneel to take a photograph of the tiny bug they did not realize is there. I know I look like an eccentric and a nature geek when I do so. I am fine with that. It makes me happy and brings me joy. I revel in my eccentricity.

By now you are probably asking yourself: Is he a glass half full or glass half empty type of person? My reply is that my metaphorical glass will always be full if I am true to myself, focus my attention on what makes me happy and decline to worry about the little things that are here today and gone tomorrow.

Choose your own path for the year ahead. The rest will take care of itself. Happy New Year!

~ Now Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel (now out of print) which was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at .

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